This Isn't Goodbye
by witheredredscarf
Summary: "We will meet again, maybe not in this life, but I hope in the next, I can give you all that you have given to me."


I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS SUFFERING A WRITER'S BLOCK. PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF THIS IS KINDA BAD. Anyway, I wanted to try my hand at writing a sort of angst followed by a reincarnation AU. I wanted to continue the reincarnation AU but... I'd rather know what people _think _first. I write for my own enjoyment, but I also like to keep reader's happy ^^ Plus, I still have Konran no Kokoro and 8 Ways to Say "I Love You" to finish. I'm trying to get back into them through writing some drabbles. Enjoy! uvu

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Last battles were always said to be the most gruesome of all. The most blood shed, the revenge taken upon our enemies for killing our loved ones the most brutal and the deaths the most painful. Now, I don't mean painful as in for the person experiencing death only.

His death did not rid him of his pain as he stared up at the grey sky, his back propped up against a tree, breaths rasping as the cold rain hit his cheeks, cooling his face from it's bloody and sweaty warmth. Instead, it divided and passed on to the people he cared about. One person, in particular, it hit like a whole mountain had crushed her beneath an unliftable heavy weight, even with her strength.

Mud stained the pristine white of her bottom half as she slid next to him. He smirked. In his few remaining moments, he was still thinking of how filthy that was. He would have chuckled, but it was painful to even do so.

He looked up, staring into the dark eyes of Mikasa Ackerman. If this was his life flashing before his eyes, then it needn't go any further. He remembered her just like he remembered the faint scent of fresh Sakura he had picked for her birthday one year because he knew they were her favourite. Just like he remembered the subtle taste of strawberry and mint when they first kissed. He remembered the tears that stained her face when she told him about her past, her family.

And he always would, even in death.

Hands fumbled frantically across the gaping wound in his chest as her dark eyes, so filled with worry and fear flickered to meet his saddened gaze occasionally.

"Mikasa," he rasped, staring down at her hands, "what are you doing?"

Levi knew what she was trying to do, but it was pointless. He was slowly losing more and more blood, enough already to know that he would die within the next hour or less. Only hurried breaths passed her lips as she frantically - and messily, may he add - tried to bandage him. All the strength left in his body made him manage to grasp on to her wrist, his palm closing tightly around it.

"Mikasa." he stated, softly but with a harsh undertone. As she turned to look at him, he could still see the worry and fear that never left her eyes, but instead ran down her face like a waterfall. Tears staining her cheeks to try and let go of the pain but it only caused more. "Stop."

An order, but she only shook her head. Even whilst he was dying, she was still being a stubborn brat. However, like all the other times, he never chastised her for it. This was the Mikasa he knew. The Mikasa willing to throw herself out in danger to protect, save and cherish the only people she has left. He smiles faintly as he reaches out to cup her cheek, thumb brushing gently over it in a reassuring gesture she knows all too well.

The ravenette's shaking hand takes it in her hold, lowering it from her cheek and to her chest, clutching tightly like it might give him life. Underneath their palms, he can feel her rapid heartbeat. Cobalt blue eyes stare up at her for another moment, rain drops in her charcoal black hair as her tears laced with the rain drip from her eyelashes and cheeks. The rain wets her plump, pink lips and a feeling of melancholy and anger overtakes him.

He doesn't want anyone else kissing those lips, he wants to be the only one to. He doesn't want anyone else to run their fingers through the soft, ebony black of hair or stroke it in comfort, or brushing it. He just doesn't want anyone else to be the one to touch her intimately. The way her eyes scrunch up doesn't help him at all, tears beginning to fall again and a choked sob escaping her lips.

She doesn't want anyone else, only him. Throwing herself at him, she cries into his neck as, with all the strength he has left, he strokes the raven hair that now caresses her shoulder blades in a side plait that is slowly becoming undone. Another arm wraps soothingly and protectively around her torso.

"I... I don't want you to die. You can't leave me." she cries, only to have him hush her as he strokes her hair, chastely kissing the top of her forehead. He only thinks about their time together. His words, her words. The feelings he had, and still has, crash down upon him all at once as she weeps in his arms.

"You know," he begins, staring up at the sky as it rains, leaves dripping. It seems welcoming, almost.

"I never actually thought I could feel love. I always thought there was something wrong with me. When I was young, I would ask what love was. They said it was when you meet someone special, someone you want to protect more than anything, to hold and to cherish. I never felt like that. I did feel love, but not the kind they're talking about.

I felt love like a sisterly or a brotherly bond. When I started to feel love, you would think I was finally happy to feel it. I always thought that, too. When I first started to feel it, I would be happy. But, I wasn't. I was scared. More scared than I'd ever been. I was even more scared than I had ever been after a near death experience because, I wanted to protect this person and valued their life more than I valued my own, but I wasn't scared just because of that. I was scared because; what if they don't feel like I do? What if I'm not good enough to live up to their expectations? How could they love someone like me?

But, now... They're here, with me, and I couldn't think of anything better. I was scared, in that moment, but not for myself, for them. I could only question how they would feel. I never thought about my own pain. I fought to live, to see another day just so I could be with them."

By the time he pauses, she has stopped her crying just to listen, only a few sniffles passing her but he is not finished as his voice takes on a heavy sadness.

"Mikasa, I know we said we'd live through this war and maybe start a family someday..."

"Levi, d-"

"Live somewhere far beyond these walls. In a quaint little place, where the Sakura flowers grow so we could see them from our window. Where it's far away from civilisation and only a trusted few knew our location."

"Levi, please. I-"

"Eren and Annie could have come visited us and Armin and Historia, and Erwin and Hange, also Jean, Sasha and Connie. I remember the name you had given to our unborn child already because it reminded you of the insignia we bore on our backs. Fei Yen, a name that means flying sparrow. It's a beautiful name."

She doesn't respond as he wipes away her last remaining tears, his voice suddenly breaking from it's usual composure.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa. Please, try not to forget me but move on. Don't spend your life pining for me when I'm not coming back." he whispered, with her burying her head into the crook of his neck. It was a brutal truth and he could tell it was hurting her, but it was hurting him, too.

Footsteps could be heard crunching against the wet leaves, with three familiar voice calling out their names.

Eren, Armin and Annie.

"Eren!" Levi calls, choking sounds escaping him as Mikasa props up and stares at him as if he had betrayed her.

"If you die, I die with you."

"Don't be stupid."

The brunet Titan shifter soon catches up to them, sinking on his knees next to the two raven haired comrades. Eren overlooks Levi's situation, teal green orbs flickering to his sister as he stares between them both.

"Eren, take Mikasa and get out of here." Levi orders. Eren nods. He begins to peel his sister off of the Captain, only to have her struggle. Annie helps him restrain the ravenette as they leave him and he has never felt so alone in his life.

A single tear has never ran down his face since he became a hardened shell.

Until now.

_I'm sorry, Mikasa. But, don't wait for me forever. One day, you'll get married and forget all about me. Maybe in this life, I won't be there for you and we won't have the family that you wanted. Maybe in the next, we'll have what you always wanted. I'm sorry I can't give that to you. However, I just want to say thank you. Thank you, you stubborn, insufferable and lovable brat, for teaching me how to love. This isn't goodbye, Mikasa. We will meet again, maybe not in this life, but I hope in the next, I can give you all that you have given to me._

"I'm hanging up now." came the voice of Mikasa Ackerman talking to her brother over the phone. Him and his relationship problems with Annie. Why did he call her up and ask her about _kissing _anyway?

There was no time to dwell on the subject as she suddenly crashed straight into a fellow pedestrian, managing not to let anything slip except her one paper for her Psychology class. Mikasa groans as she goes to pick it up before another hand extends it to her.

Upon looking up, she notices the jet black hair and steel blue eyes as a vision of rain, blood and sweat hit her. A forest, mud, someone who looked exactly like her. The same dark eyes and charcoal black hair.

"Hey," he stated, quirking an ebony brow, "are you gonna take this or keep gawking at me like some fish?"

"Oh... Sorry." she mumbles, quickly taking the papers and holding them tight to her chest. He doesn't move, neither does she.

"I'm Levi."

"Mikasa."

"You seem familiar, Mikasa... Have we met before?"


End file.
